sorry if this isn't the right place to put this. :( i feel so frustrated, i'm 21 and i haven't been able to have sex or insert anything. my ex boyfriend wasn't able to find my hole either, but we were both inexperienced. i've met a new guy and i'm scared he'll leave me if i cant have sex. i feel like no one will ever love me. :(
i've been trying to explore more down there but i'm so confused?? it looks so confusing. i do see a hole, but it's so small and i can't tell if it's the vaginal opening or the opening to my urethra. i drew a picture of what i'm seeing: //imgur.com/a/XtaNc77
i'm wondering if there's something wrong with my hymen??
i know i should see a gynecologist, but i'm going to have to wait a bit and i can't stop worrying :(
can anyone help me?? thank you so much!!
The first thing to remember? Don't panic! Dolly Doctor confirms that everything sounds completely normal.
It's great that our reader felt comfortable using a mirror to try to see and understand what's happening, particularly in the genital area - we recommend all girls do this if they can, there's really nothing to be afraid of!
The "hole where your period comes out" is your vagina.
In the female anatomy there are three holes in the genital area: the vagina is the biggest, the urethra is where urine comes out and it's above the vagina and under the clitoris.
The third hole is the anus, which is around towards the back and is of course where poo comes out.
The vagina is a muscular "tube" that is normally "collapsed down".
When you look at it in a mirror it may not even look much like a hole. You can spread apart your inner labia (inner lips of the vagina) and get a closer look, you can even gently insert a finger to see whether you're noticing a flap of skin or whether the walls of the vagina are just closed together.
Right at the opening of the vagina sits the hymen, which is a piece of skin-like tissue and this is what you might be seeing.
All girls and women will notice something a bit skin-like if they look closely. The hymen has a hole in the middle of it which grows and stretches as you grow, especially during puberty.
Usually with the use of tampons the hymen simply stretches without any problem, If your hymen is particularly thick, and the hole in it isn't stretching as easily, you might have a bit of resistance to inserting a tampon.
RELATED: A Handy, Fail-Proof Guide To The Vagina... 'Cos School Doesn't Teach You Everything
Try inserting a clean finger right inside your vagina, and try a small tampon, while using the mirror, to see whether you can gently stretch this area.
You can use Vaseline or lubricant to assist (though don't when you actually have your period).
The difficulty you find inserting tampons may have nothing to do with the hymen, as most girls do need time and practise before they can use tampons easily.
Often it's more to do with inserting the tampon in the right direction — up and back towards your belly button (you might need to lie down, or to stand straight up with one knee bent and that leg up on a chair, or squat).
And of course if after all of this you still think that the piece of skin you've noticed is obstructing the entrance of your vagina, you can get it quickly and easily checked by your doctor.
Got a question for Dolly Doctor? Send us an email and we'll get it answered! dollydoctor@aremedia.com.au
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I really want to start wearing tampons instead of sanitary towels but i can't for the life of me find my vaginal hole, I ve used the mirror technique, made sure I have been relaxed, tried different angles etc... but i still can not find it! I have tried prodding here there and everywhere but all i seem to be hitting is flaps of skin, I know where it should be, but it doesn't want to be found it seems! Anyone have any tips? is it something I should go and see my GP about as if I can't fit a tampon in at present then I will probably encounter the same problems with a penis right?
Isn't it pretty obvious whilst you're on your period? It's the bit where the blood's coming out of...
Its not glaringly obvious. I know it sounds like it should be, but there are a lot of "flaps of skin" down there and they do kind of get in the way. Make sure you're not looking too far forward, its further to the back. Coming from your bum side there is your anus, then a smooth bit of skin called the perineum. The vagina is the next bit you come to. Try putting some steady firm pressure in that area (with a tampon of your finger) and you should find it.
If your near flaps of skin, you're in the wrong place. As the person ^ suggested, get your mirror, start at your butt and work forwards.
Can't you like..spread..and..move it down from top to bottom until it goes in..or something..y'know.
Could quite easily be that your hymen hasn't split yet, might be worth a visit to the doctor. It is perfectly possible to pass period blood through a *very* small hole in the hymen, but to not be able to access your vagina itself - so if you genuinely can't find anything it might well be worth getting checked out. Nothing serious but they might be able to break your hymen somehow.
(Original post by daisydaffodil)
Could quite easily be that your hymen hasn't split yet, might be worth a visit to the doctor. It is perfectly possible to pass period blood through a *very* small hole in the hymen, but to not be able to access your vagina itself - so if you genuinely can't find anything it might well be worth getting checked out. Nothing serious but they might be able to break your hymen somehow.
Wiki 'vagina'. Detailed descriptions and images to guide you on there, without it being too seedy.
(Original post by Duvet)
Isn't it pretty obvious whilst you're on your period? It's the bit where the blood's coming out of...
An anonymous writer has written for XO Jane revealing the truth behind being born without a “vagina hole“.
At 14, the writer got her period for the very first time. After missing out on the classic summer pool parties and waking up in pools of her own blood, she decided to switch from pads to tampons.
After following the instructions on the tampon pack very carefully, she tried to insert a tampon.
Trying time and time again, it still didn’t work.
“Did the exact thing I did before I read the directions. Repeated that pattern a few times. Decided to check out what it look like in a little hand mirror. Saw a lot of pink and got creeped out,” she wrote.
It wasn’t until three years later, at 17, did she have another go at trying tampons when her friend wanted to go to the beach.
“Probably more than an hour later, with tears in my eyes and sweat on my brow, I texted my friend back, defeated.”
Do you actually use the word ‘period’? Maybe ‘that time of the month’, ‘shark week’, or ‘Aunt Flo’?
Her friend told her to just “try harder” and ended up sending her photos of vaginas from a medical website, so the writer could explore her own.
After looking at the vaginas, she firstly realised there were TWO holes. The pee hole and “vagina hole”. For most of the time, she had been trying to insert the tampons into her pee hole, but when she went searching for exactly where the elusive vagina hole was, she couldn’t find it.
The anonymous writer then, after not being able to find her vagina hole, went to her mum and they made an appointment with a gynecologist.
“I explained to the nurse practitioner that no matter how hard I tried, I could not get a tampon inside of me, and then asked her while blushing and looking at the ground, if she could help me.
“She chuckled a patronizing chuckle and lead me into a room where I would strip off of my clothes. I dug my heels into those little stirrup things and started to freak the fuck out. My vagina was completely exposed in a way it had never been before,” she wrote.
After the nurse poked around her vagina with a q-tip and then brought a doctor in to check, the doctor said, “You don’t have a vagina hole…Well, you technically do but it’s very small.”
Apparently, it was only the size of a q-tip.
The size of the hole is apparently smaller than a tip of a pin, but still just large enough to pass blood monthly. The hole was almost completely covered by her hymen.
"You have a vagina hole so small that nothing can get in. You won't be able to have sex, much less put a tampon unless you get surgery," the doctor told the writer.
To worsen the situation, the writer's mother was a Catholic conservative and was very against surgery to open her vagina.
"I honestly think that she thought the second I got my vagina spliced open, I would start rampantly having sex with any male who looked in my direction," she wrote.
Eventually, after conducting extensive research, debating furiously her mother, and presenting pie charts, her mother agreed she could have the surgery.
"Ironically, I still do not use tampons and it would be a few years before I'd actually have sex with anyone. But at least I got to have a vagina hole like all the other girls," she wrote.